“Is it ever too late to save a marriage?” This is a question I get asked quite often. Unfortunately, people do not realize that time is NOT on their side – NOT in the sense of a ticking clock, but in the sense of life. Time waits for no one, least of all those who claim to be so very passionate about saving a marriage. So before someone asks the dreaded question, “is it ever too late to save a marriage?”
I have come to the conclusion (and I have studied this topic quite thoroughly) that while it is never too late to save a marriage, waiting until the end of it is certainly not the best time to start. When was the last time you were doing what is needed to keep your marriage alive and thriving? When was the last time you got up each morning and gave your spouse some quality time alone? When was the last time you listened to them when they needed an emotional boost? When was the last time you planned a fun-filled, stress-free vacation together? And if you were not doing any of those things, then how did you expect to have a successful marriage?
There are times that I would consider “it is never too late to save a marriage”, but only if the individual in question is willing to take the steps to make it happen. For some people, the realization that they can have a better marriage, without the constant conflict, intimacy, resentment, and animosity, is something that happens too late. In my experience, it usually takes about five years before marriage counseling really begins to work. Most individuals discover it is never too late to save a marriage when they reach this point.
The first step is for the individual to admit that there is a problem. It is important that they are absolutely convinced it is a marriage problem before they begin marriage counseling. Too many times, individuals try to save a marriage, only to find out it was all a big mistake. This is the most common error made by those trying marriage counseling. If you are absolutely certain it is a marital problem, then it is never too late to do what needs to be done to repair it. If you are not absolutely positive, then it is imperative you proceed with caution until you are very certain.
Once you admit there is a problem, the next step is to decide how you plan to go about fixing it. When is it ever too late to save a marriage? If the answer is no, then you need to begin immediate steps to repair the problems. If you are willing to take these steps, then it is never too late to save your marriage.
One of the first steps to saving your marriage is to utilize the services of a qualified marriage counselor. If you do not have the money to hire a professional counselor, then there are numerous other resources available to you. You should search the internet and the yellow pages for a suitable counselor. Many community counselors will be happy to give free marriage counseling in your area. If they cannot help, then it is good to know that you can also find free resources on the internet.
Once you have hired a marriage counselor, the second step is to dedicate some time to working with them. The marriage counselor will sit with you and determine how bad the problems are and what you need to do to repair them. You may feel like this is an uncomfortable meeting, but it is a necessity. The more time you spend working with them, the closer you will become and the faster you will be able to save your marriage. Once you have repaired the relationship between you and your spouse, both of you will be so close that you will not need the marriage counselor again.
Another way to salvage your marriage is to use a couple’s therapy program. This program is usually offered in a highly-recommended community center or by a therapist who specializes in relationship issues. You will sit with a therapist for two hours and go over your problem together. Then the therapist will help you develop skills to fix the relationship between you and your spouse. Couples who have used this method to save their marriages have noticed a great improvement in their relationship within just a few months.